Am I a generous person?

“No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted.” ~ Aesop.

“With gentleness, overcome anger. With generosity, overcome meanness. With truth. overcome delusion.” — The Buddha, Verse 223, The Dhammapada.

Generous (adjective) in the Latin root of the word means “of noble birth,” by no means is generosity limited to people in positions of power. According to Emmanuel Levinas, the French philosopher, a generous person will display these qualities even if they know the people or group he is helping is not going to do the same in return.

Generosity (Noun) — the quality of being kind and understanding, the willingness to give others things that have value — is often defined as an act of selflessness; however, studies are now showing that generosity is actually (selfishly) in your best interest. Practicing generosity is a mental health principle, and it could be the very key to a happy and healthy life.

In Buddhism, Generosity is really a very basic thing. We think generosity is the hardest one but actually it is the easiest one. You can read on the list of ten perfections of earlier Buddhism (Theravada), the first is Dana / Perfection of Giving. In Gampopa's Ornament of Precious Liberation, the discussion of each of the perfections is divided into six topics. The first topic is the reflection on the faults of not practicing and virtues of practicing generosity. Giving / Generosity is the first training that the Buddha gave for everyone.

According to Buddha’s Teaching, we need to practice generosity to purify miserliness. It doesn't matter how much you give, but your motivation in giving should be pure. What is important is to purify our mental afflictions and develop the Buddha qualities. Those who do not practice generosity will be reborn in poverty, or as a hungry ghost. In Buddhism, It’s not just generosity as we normally think of it. Generosity is giving things, which is great; but the far-reaching attitude of generosity is combined with both compassion and wisdom. It’s different from ordinary generosity, because it is motivated by the wish to become a Buddha in order to benefit others. The Buddha taught, over and over, that generosity is the first door we walk through if we are serious about our spiritual work. Without generosity enlightenment is flat-out impossible.

Emotionally, generosity is fulfilling; practically, it can make the world a better place. There is something so special about generous people that brings life, joy, empowerment and freedom into the atmosphere when they turn up. We can teach our children to live a life of generosity whether they are financially secure or not. They don’t have to wait to have an income and our generosity doesn’t have to be limited by our income. The only thing that limits our generosity is our mindset and our character. Generosity comes in all shapes and sizes; it is not just about giving to those who are in need, it is just as important to give freely to everyone. Our friends may need a word of encouragement or appreciation, someone might need the gift of being listened to, or someone might just need to be understood. People who are generous in spirit are the ones willing to appreciate those who they may not even agree with on some issues; we can show generosity in many different ways. 

We just need to practise, to make a habit of giving. When there is a need for money we give money. When there is a need for time we give time. When there is a need for energy we give energy. Where there is a need for education or culture we give education and culture. Here at this stage I am just talking about giving in response to needs, open-handed generosity; sharing our money, goods, time, energy and intellect with others who need them. In every need there is an opportunity, an opportunity for us to give, to share. Even giving a smile to others is generosity. It costs nothing, but it is a great practice. But if you show your frowny face, people will be afraid. There are different kinds of smiles: a genuine smile, a politician's smile, a sarcastic smile. So when you smile, make sure it’s a genuine smile. Think about what the other person wants or needs. It’s not always about material things; it’s about being giving of yourself. Sometimes just being present and available to a loved one who is having a hard time is the greatest gift you could possibly give.  Simone de Beauvoir said, “That’s what I consider true generosity: You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.”

Giving material thing is actually one of the easiest things to give, but it can be really hard sometime if you attached with it. Even when you give a cup of water, you should not attach with it, and then it called generosity. In the practice of giving material, as with other practices, the motivation is the most important thing. We want to give with a kind motivation toward the receivers. Motivation is very important when we give. If we give with a wrong motivation, such as making gifts which we hope will harm others or which we intend to bring us fame, or if we give with an inferior motivation such as through fear of future poverty, then that is improper. We should never give what is harmful, for instance, when we give something suitable it should be generously, not meanly. When we give something to others, we should be joyfully, respectfully, with a compassionate heart and without regret. It is better to give with one's own hand rather than through others, to give at just the right time, and, of course, to give without harming others.

            Not only giving material things, we also can giving loving protection, If somebody is in trouble, helping them out, protecting them. Helping those who are traveling, if they are afraid that they might lose their way, accompanying them, giving them the things they need or giving them the instructions that they need. If two dogs are fighting, interfere. you see a bug drowning in water, scoop it out. Also it’s important to give loving understanding/offering wisdom to others. When you help a friend make a good decision, or see both sides of a problem, or take a broader perspective, you are offering wisdom. When others see you as a wholesome role model, you are sharing wisdom. If you are a teacher, you are in a position both to demonstrate wisdom with your actions and to speak wisely. If you are a parent, caring for your children gently and with patience is a form of sharing your wisdom. Simply acting with kindness, speaking truthfully, and considering what is best for others and yourself, is to offer wisdom.

            I have seen too many generous people being taken advantage of, that’s why we have to combine our generosity with wisdom because Being generous doesn't mean being stupid. You don't have to give money/time to the lazy and/or the addicted. Don’t give to the wrong people. If we don’t trust somebody, if we think something is not going to work out right, we don’t want to give in a way that we might regret it later. If we give and later feel regret, then we destroy a lot of merit that was created from the giving, and sometimes we also become disillusioned and disappointed and more suspicious. Really think well, then, about giving so that later we don’t regret it.

            This is also important, if anyone give something to you, never ever refuse it but always accept that and say thank you. Even if you don’t want tp – you can always give it to someone later. Never refuse the beautiful acts of kindness and giving, because that’s what makes the world beautiful place, people share things and kind to one another. It’s okay to learn how to give, but don’t forget to learn how to receive as well. Don’t only think about yourself but also think about other because they need to do good deeds like you did.

Have you ever noticed that the happiest people you know are also the ones who bring the most happiness to others? Practicing generosity is a mental health principle, and it could be the very key to a happy and healthy life. And well, what are the results of being generous? There are many benefits of giving, both in the here and now, even The Buddha explained that. If you are a generous person and always practice generosity, your heart is going to be free, other person is going to be happy and you are also going to create a lot of positive potential that will bring about wealth in future lives. You are also going to create positive potential that you can dedicate to becoming enlightened for others’ benefit. That’s wonderful!

When you are generous or kind, it influences other people to also be generous and kind. The act of being generous causes other people to believe in a world where people are generous. If everyone believes in a dog eat dog world, then they act accordingly. The more people have the innate belief that people are good and that people are kind, the more they will also act on that belief. Even if you are occasionally scammed or taken advantage of, you have still influenced someone subconsciously. When we give to others, we don’t only make them feel closer to us; we also feel closer to them. Being kind and generous leads you to perceive others more positively and more charitably.

Helping people makes you a good person, regardless of whether you get anything back. Think about what are the results of not giving and what are the results of giving. In that way, through understanding, it becomes very clear what is the best course of action to take, not only for ourselves but also for others. Giving is not something that we should do, but it’s something that we understand, and so we want to do. Again, as with all the practices, understanding is very important. We can train the mind in this way.

Each day life presents us with hundreds of opportunities to be generous; by making a lifestyle out of generosity, we can do ourselves and others a world of good.

“Do all the good you can,

By all the means you can,

In all the ways you can,

In all the places you can,

At all the times you can,

To all the people you can,

As long as ever you can.”

— John Wesley, Letters of John Wesley