HAVE COURAGE AND BE KIND!

You had the compassion to be kind to yourself first, and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can’t practice compassion with other people if we never give compassion to ourselves kindly. ~Erica

When my parents divorced I told myself not to cry. I held that cry in for years. I would literally bite my lip and say “Don’t cry. Be strong. Be courageous.” I was 14 years old. I thought holding it in was the courageous thing to do. To be brave like an adult, move on, and get up and live my life.

Now, I am 24 years old, I've almost spent a quarter of a century. It took many years for me to develop the courage to show emotion in front of other people. I had a very hard time as an actress, being vulnerable or crying alone in the world—an island of silence in a sea of noise. However, it is most absolutely my bliss being able to share and talk and teach—to be a role model—and take people on a journey where they can discover what courage means for them.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E. E. Cummings

Courage is something that everybody wants — an attribute of good character that makes us worthy of respect. Yet courage is not just physical bravery. Developing the quality of courage is essential to achieving anything in our lives. Courage is required before we can take action in any endeavor, and it is courageous people in every field who tend to achieve their goals and realize their dreams.

The fear that can summon moral courage takes many forms: fear of job loss, fear of poverty, fear of losing friends, fear of criticism, fear of ostracism, fear of embarrassment, fear of making enemies, fear of losing status, to name but a few potential human fears.

Fear is negative energy. Courage is positive energy that arises when fear is set-aside. Courage is not only needed to face some of the moment-to-moment aspects of daily life, but it is critical when faced with “spiritual weakness”.

In Buddhism, courage, or fearlessness, is highly valued. You should not have the slightest fear in your heart. It is lack of courage that prevents one from attaining Buddhahood. Buddhism teaches that every single person has infinite potential, and that, through sincere practice, each person can bring forth that potential, allowing their abundant creativity to blossom and enabling them to contribute to the enrichment of society and benefits all sentient beings.

Fear and courage are brothers. I remembered that Prince Siddhartha want to be a Buddha because he was fear, fear about getting old, sick and die. He wants to liberate the people he loves from the same fears. From the fear he had, it also arose his courage to leave the palace and seek a cure from his fear.

Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “Courage is about doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared. Have the courage to act instead of react."

In practice sometimes we come to the “Plateau of Great Doubt” it is easy to quit, to let spiritual weakness have it’s way. Applying the energy of courage we can see past that doubt to a continuing path. We can employ courage to delve deeper into study, to find new commitment to practice, and to ask those questions we’ve may have hesitated to ask before. Courage is a positive character trait.

Buddhism also teaches that our efforts to expand and develop our lives will inevitably be met by resistance, often severe, from both within and without. It is by persevering in the face of these obstacles and triumphing over them that we are able to unlock the rich possibilities of our lives and manifest our inherent enlightenment.  Normally, we choose to engage with problems and issues rather than avoid them. Realizing ways to turn those problems and issues to harmonious and happy results for everyone involved takes the energy that comes from courage.

Buddhist teachings place great emphasis on wisdom, and it is easy to see how a simple lack of wisdom is the cause of many of the problems.

Closely linked to the exercise of courage is conviction—conviction in the right and possibility of oneself and others to be happy, free and fulfilled. Such conviction is the basis of social justice and is the core vision on which Buddhism is founded. It is a fierce, unyielding commitment to such a vision that endows the Buddha with the quality of fearlessness.

Courage is a component of each of the Buddhist refinements. A real practice of generosity, situational ethics and morality, and acceptance require us to tap into our sense of courageous thought and action. Courage requires a Buddhist to go beyond self-interest to a realization that there are instances when one must endure the possibility of self-loss. We must be willing to set aside our own interests in order to achieve something larger than ourselves, Buddhism thus views courage as a vital element of compassionate action to help others—as well as key to our ability to change our own lives. Its core courage is a generosity of spirit that transcends our sense of self.

What may look like a small act of courage is courage nevertheless. The important thing is to be willing to take a step forward. Have Courage —  Don’t live your life out of fear, but live your life out of your convictions.  Don’t be afraid to take a stand, to express a conviction.  Don’t be afraid to love.  Don’t be afraid to do what wisdom tells you needs to be done.  This doesn’t mean that you should be in other people’s faces or take foolhardy risks.  It just means that your existence should be life-affirming, not fear-based and avoidant.

Have Courage and Be Kind. ~ Cinderella

Am I a generous person?

“No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted.” ~ Aesop.

“With gentleness, overcome anger. With generosity, overcome meanness. With truth. overcome delusion.” — The Buddha, Verse 223, The Dhammapada.

Generous (adjective) in the Latin root of the word means “of noble birth,” by no means is generosity limited to people in positions of power. According to Emmanuel Levinas, the French philosopher, a generous person will display these qualities even if they know the people or group he is helping is not going to do the same in return.

Generosity (Noun) — the quality of being kind and understanding, the willingness to give others things that have value — is often defined as an act of selflessness; however, studies are now showing that generosity is actually (selfishly) in your best interest. Practicing generosity is a mental health principle, and it could be the very key to a happy and healthy life.

In Buddhism, Generosity is really a very basic thing. We think generosity is the hardest one but actually it is the easiest one. You can read on the list of ten perfections of earlier Buddhism (Theravada), the first is Dana / Perfection of Giving. In Gampopa's Ornament of Precious Liberation, the discussion of each of the perfections is divided into six topics. The first topic is the reflection on the faults of not practicing and virtues of practicing generosity. Giving / Generosity is the first training that the Buddha gave for everyone.

According to Buddha’s Teaching, we need to practice generosity to purify miserliness. It doesn't matter how much you give, but your motivation in giving should be pure. What is important is to purify our mental afflictions and develop the Buddha qualities. Those who do not practice generosity will be reborn in poverty, or as a hungry ghost. In Buddhism, It’s not just generosity as we normally think of it. Generosity is giving things, which is great; but the far-reaching attitude of generosity is combined with both compassion and wisdom. It’s different from ordinary generosity, because it is motivated by the wish to become a Buddha in order to benefit others. The Buddha taught, over and over, that generosity is the first door we walk through if we are serious about our spiritual work. Without generosity enlightenment is flat-out impossible.

Emotionally, generosity is fulfilling; practically, it can make the world a better place. There is something so special about generous people that brings life, joy, empowerment and freedom into the atmosphere when they turn up. We can teach our children to live a life of generosity whether they are financially secure or not. They don’t have to wait to have an income and our generosity doesn’t have to be limited by our income. The only thing that limits our generosity is our mindset and our character. Generosity comes in all shapes and sizes; it is not just about giving to those who are in need, it is just as important to give freely to everyone. Our friends may need a word of encouragement or appreciation, someone might need the gift of being listened to, or someone might just need to be understood. People who are generous in spirit are the ones willing to appreciate those who they may not even agree with on some issues; we can show generosity in many different ways. 

We just need to practise, to make a habit of giving. When there is a need for money we give money. When there is a need for time we give time. When there is a need for energy we give energy. Where there is a need for education or culture we give education and culture. Here at this stage I am just talking about giving in response to needs, open-handed generosity; sharing our money, goods, time, energy and intellect with others who need them. In every need there is an opportunity, an opportunity for us to give, to share. Even giving a smile to others is generosity. It costs nothing, but it is a great practice. But if you show your frowny face, people will be afraid. There are different kinds of smiles: a genuine smile, a politician's smile, a sarcastic smile. So when you smile, make sure it’s a genuine smile. Think about what the other person wants or needs. It’s not always about material things; it’s about being giving of yourself. Sometimes just being present and available to a loved one who is having a hard time is the greatest gift you could possibly give.  Simone de Beauvoir said, “That’s what I consider true generosity: You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.”

Giving material thing is actually one of the easiest things to give, but it can be really hard sometime if you attached with it. Even when you give a cup of water, you should not attach with it, and then it called generosity. In the practice of giving material, as with other practices, the motivation is the most important thing. We want to give with a kind motivation toward the receivers. Motivation is very important when we give. If we give with a wrong motivation, such as making gifts which we hope will harm others or which we intend to bring us fame, or if we give with an inferior motivation such as through fear of future poverty, then that is improper. We should never give what is harmful, for instance, when we give something suitable it should be generously, not meanly. When we give something to others, we should be joyfully, respectfully, with a compassionate heart and without regret. It is better to give with one's own hand rather than through others, to give at just the right time, and, of course, to give without harming others.

            Not only giving material things, we also can giving loving protection, If somebody is in trouble, helping them out, protecting them. Helping those who are traveling, if they are afraid that they might lose their way, accompanying them, giving them the things they need or giving them the instructions that they need. If two dogs are fighting, interfere. you see a bug drowning in water, scoop it out. Also it’s important to give loving understanding/offering wisdom to others. When you help a friend make a good decision, or see both sides of a problem, or take a broader perspective, you are offering wisdom. When others see you as a wholesome role model, you are sharing wisdom. If you are a teacher, you are in a position both to demonstrate wisdom with your actions and to speak wisely. If you are a parent, caring for your children gently and with patience is a form of sharing your wisdom. Simply acting with kindness, speaking truthfully, and considering what is best for others and yourself, is to offer wisdom.

            I have seen too many generous people being taken advantage of, that’s why we have to combine our generosity with wisdom because Being generous doesn't mean being stupid. You don't have to give money/time to the lazy and/or the addicted. Don’t give to the wrong people. If we don’t trust somebody, if we think something is not going to work out right, we don’t want to give in a way that we might regret it later. If we give and later feel regret, then we destroy a lot of merit that was created from the giving, and sometimes we also become disillusioned and disappointed and more suspicious. Really think well, then, about giving so that later we don’t regret it.

            This is also important, if anyone give something to you, never ever refuse it but always accept that and say thank you. Even if you don’t want tp – you can always give it to someone later. Never refuse the beautiful acts of kindness and giving, because that’s what makes the world beautiful place, people share things and kind to one another. It’s okay to learn how to give, but don’t forget to learn how to receive as well. Don’t only think about yourself but also think about other because they need to do good deeds like you did.

Have you ever noticed that the happiest people you know are also the ones who bring the most happiness to others? Practicing generosity is a mental health principle, and it could be the very key to a happy and healthy life. And well, what are the results of being generous? There are many benefits of giving, both in the here and now, even The Buddha explained that. If you are a generous person and always practice generosity, your heart is going to be free, other person is going to be happy and you are also going to create a lot of positive potential that will bring about wealth in future lives. You are also going to create positive potential that you can dedicate to becoming enlightened for others’ benefit. That’s wonderful!

When you are generous or kind, it influences other people to also be generous and kind. The act of being generous causes other people to believe in a world where people are generous. If everyone believes in a dog eat dog world, then they act accordingly. The more people have the innate belief that people are good and that people are kind, the more they will also act on that belief. Even if you are occasionally scammed or taken advantage of, you have still influenced someone subconsciously. When we give to others, we don’t only make them feel closer to us; we also feel closer to them. Being kind and generous leads you to perceive others more positively and more charitably.

Helping people makes you a good person, regardless of whether you get anything back. Think about what are the results of not giving and what are the results of giving. In that way, through understanding, it becomes very clear what is the best course of action to take, not only for ourselves but also for others. Giving is not something that we should do, but it’s something that we understand, and so we want to do. Again, as with all the practices, understanding is very important. We can train the mind in this way.

Each day life presents us with hundreds of opportunities to be generous; by making a lifestyle out of generosity, we can do ourselves and others a world of good.

“Do all the good you can,

By all the means you can,

In all the ways you can,

In all the places you can,

At all the times you can,

To all the people you can,

As long as ever you can.”

— John Wesley, Letters of John Wesley

Forgiveness is Beautiful~

9 years ago,

I’d had enough of so much pain and sorrow, and the constant yelling. Soon after, I watched my mother cry bitterly as she made the decision to get a divorce. I was 17 years old at the time. My father cheated on my mother with two different women, thinking my mother wasn’t good enough for him anymore. Later in life I understood that it was he who felt not good enough, but  when I was 21, my father married again after 2,5 years divorced. Unfortunately, I was a unlucky woman who is really lack of affection from someone who called father. I grew into a young woman without the guidance of a father. In this world I don’t lack of anything other than the affection of a father. I don't even know what it's like to have father-daughter relationship because I honestly have no idea and experiences about this relationship. Pity me! I remember, one day he got very drunk and began calling me names like “little cockroach,” because he knew I would never be as good as others. My father made me feel so small for so long, but I’m finally ready to be strong.

  

I ever lived in wealth but we fall into poverty in the end. I almost dropped out of school when I was secondary. I can’t pay school fees and I need to find a way to earn money to be able back to school because I don’t want to be in the poverty. I hate poverty so much at that time. I remember my classmates laughing at me for wearing the same pair of blue skirts every day for a week.  I asked my mother to buy me some new clothes or new uniform and she told me I should be grateful for what I had. Poverty grabbed my happiness and my teenage years. I lost time to play with friends at my age. At that time I was 14 years old and I have to think about how do I get money to pay my school fees. How sad!

The divorce helped me become mature, stronger and wiser. I was always there for me and my siblings playing the role of both loving sister and father. My raising made me think that, if I ever had children, I would never let them live the hell I lived.

I learned this the hard way, sadly. Some days I would get very angry, and other days I would feel hopeless and unloved. This eventually pushed away the few people that really cared for me. I couldn’t change the past, and I didn’t like the insecure, angry woman that I had become. I had to release that pain and anger. Some people might view what happened to my father as karma, but it’s hard for me to see it that way. When I learned about his troubled childhood, I realized that’s where his behavior came from. I finally understood why he did what he did. I know a lot of people who had sad, painful childhoods, who turned out to be wonderful parents. Pain can give us huge lessons and make us better people. This was the most important lesson in my life. I was the target of joke at school because, at that time, children who came from broken homes were seen as troubled kids. I hated my father every time someone made jokes about my divorced parents. I blamed my father for all my failed relationships. I hopelessly looked for approval from the men I dated, only to be dumped like a hot frying pan. I was destroying myself with hatred and pain.

Trying to find something and someone to inspire me, I came across one quote by The Buddha that struck a chord with me:

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” (Buddha)

The Buddha also said that, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

I was poisoning my life, my few friendships, and myself. I’d missed a lot of the big things in life because I’d spent so much time hating my father and my problems. I learned not to repeat his mistakes, and to pay attention to my own behavior. The past can be painful but it doesn’t have to define us. We make our own present; we are our own person. We can’t erase the past, but we can choose to let go of the pain in order to live a happier, more fulfilling life. I focused on myself, spent time with family, eventually found good friends, and then finally felt lighter and at peace.

In the end, I learned that forgiveness is not about the other person; it is about ourselves. Everybody in life has enemies. The best way to stop an enemy is not to confront them and hurt them, the best way to confront an enemy is through a lot of compassion. A lot of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean let them take advantage of you. Without forgiveness the world can never be released from the sorrows of the past.  Someone quipped, “Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.” Forgiveness is a way to move on. Forgiveness is fundamentally for our own sake, for our own mental health. It is a way to let go of the pain we carry.

That experience encouraged me, but when I turned to my father, the process was much more difficult. Forgiveness took many years, but in the end I forgive my father. As I meditated and wept, I felt the pain of my own closed heart and wondered how I could forgive him. I breathed and practiced forgiveness. Time heals all wounds, or so they say. That’s when I realized it made no sense to continue hating him for the horrible childhood he gave me. Life was already giving him a tough lesson. I know he is going through as much pain as I am feeling. I wanted him to know that I forgive him for what he did.

I meditated on my own for a night at a savanna surrounded by trees and accompanied by chirping birds. At that moment, when I was meditating alone, something popped-up in my mind. That’s called Forgiveness Verses :

If today, yesterday or long time ago, anyone has done something wrong on me; through body, speech or mind, big or small, because of envy or less wisdom, now sincerely I forgive them and negate revenge.

I forgive, because remembering how often I also make mistakes.

I forgive, because realizing how much I always defend myself, expecting forgiveness for my own mistakes.

I forgive, because knowing that by keeping evil desire, I will hurt myself more than others could do to me.

I forgive, because promised myself not going to talk about other people's mistakes to others.

I forgive, because knowing that the desire of revenge will only cause confusion, fears and anxiety in me.

I forgive, because in this way that loving kindness, compassion and let go feeling will develop in me.

I forgive, because knowing that just like me, they were still burning by greed, hatred and ignorance.

I hope this forgiveness would help me to be able to forgive again tomorrow and each day. Hopefully this forgiveness will encourage them to also be able to give forgiveness to me and others. Hopefully forgiveness help me to bring up the seed of  release, kindness, help me reach liberation and enlightenment.

Strangers Became Friends

‘Remember, Don’t Talk To Strangers’.

My mother would always tell me before I went out to play. For many of us, it was a golden rule of childhood, right?

We are all raised not to talk to strangers. But, when you travel solo, the ability to talk to strangers safely is a skill that makes for some of the most interesting travel moments. Meet people on the road—it’s part of the fun of traveling for me.

Let me share with you all the incredible things that have happened to me while traveling alone. Things that definitely would never have happened if I had a travel buddy or group of friends by my side. That’s the thing about solo travel. While it’s daunting and scary and sometimes dangerous, it’s also one of the most exciting and rewarding experiences you will ever have. You open yourself up to the world, and suddenly the world and so many of its amazing people, open themselves up to you.

Since my very first solo trip in 2015, I have made it a point to talk to anyone and everyone who is willing. It’s brought me friends from all over – from Europe, America, Australia to Asia – and given me lifelong memories and countless stories to tell. Usually, the highlights of my trips are the people I met while there. Humanity is a beautiful thing. 

The amount of times I have encountered the most generous and helpful strangers while traveling solo is unbelievable. In fact, from the minute I leave home on a solo trip, good things seem to happen all thanks to the kindness of strangers.

For example, when I was traveling to East Java in 2015, it was the month of fasting for Muslims. I was having trouble finding food and my host family was fasting but they cooked for my lunch. I even was the one they had just met, but they treated me like family. 

Then when I was backpacking to Siem Reap in 2015, I was donating my blood at Blood bank there. Lots of local people who are trying to communicate to me even though they could not speak English. They tried to help me look for blood transfusion room, and waited for me until I finished to donate my blood and took me to eat after wards.

The same thing also happened in Thailand in 2015, after Siem Reap, I went to Thailand for 3 weeks. I met so many nice people there. I slept in the dorm and met many people. I'm often involved in long conversations with them. Not just for one or two hours, sometimes I spend up to 1-2 days with them, but I forgot to ask their names. 

When I was traveling in Sulawesi and Flores more than a month in June 2016, I met so many kind people around me. They helped me and my friends to find Bus when we missed it. They helped us to negotiate things. Helped us to find places we wanted to go and many more. 

I met bunch of helpful and kind people during my Myanmar trip in November 2016. People there incredibly friendly and nice. Smile everywhere and I got so many gifts from people there. They just gave it to me and wish me a tons of luck before I left. 

I tried to hitchhike / get a free ride in few places and it was awesome! I have encountered the most generous souls who offered me so much when they found out I was alone. I have made some amazing friendships from chatting with strangers in buses, trains, and hostels, as well as from getting to know the people who host me. 

Especially if I'm traveling alone in Indonesia. Lot of people asked me why and they feel sorry for me. They said that I was brave and strong woman. Even some of them said that never saw the woman traveling alone before. Moreover, I am happy to go somewhere off the beaten track that are difficult to reach and away from the crowds. 

I have a rule where I smile at people who I make eye contact with. I smile to myself as I listen to music and as I read books. Basically, I’m always smiling. And it works — when I smile at someone, they almost always smile back or at least acknowledge me. Think about it: you’ll be more likely to strike up a conversation with someone who looks cheerful rather than someone who looks angry or upset. Stick a smile on your face and others will do the same. 

I’ve come to learn from travelling and speaking to all kinds of people that everyone has their own perspective, and my role is to listen and respect their view — even when I don’t agree. This has allowed me to have insightful conversations where I was better able to understand sides of a story that were previously obscured. It has made me more patient, tolerant, and open-minded, which has actually helped me meet even more amazing strangers!

"As you grow older, you'll find that you enjoy talking to strangers far more than to your friends."

When traveling, more often than not, other people want to talk to you. Sometimes it just takes a little leap of faith. And sometimes, you have to initiate that leap of faith. Often times, the best souvenirs while traveling are the friends you make. It’s as simple as that. Material souvenirs are nice, but when you have a meaningful and mentally stimulating conversation with someone, you’ll remember them forever. Learning how to introduce yourself is a magical skill, and one that isn’t too hard to learn. Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet a lifelong friend just by taking the first step. 

I'm not afraid of chaos and I'm happy talking to strangers. I really love to not knowing where I'm going. 

When it comes to travel planning, I fly by the seat of my pants most of the time. Meaning, I actually don’t do much planning at all. Funny enough, I mostly rely on stranger’s recommendations to do my planning: every time I meet people, I ask them where they’ve been and what they’ve liked. My itinerary ends up being pieced from the recommendations of many people, which are predominantly locals and fellow adventurous travellers. 

Don’t limit yourself to only speaking to a certain group of people or about certain topics. Don’t limit your conversation to only a few minutes. Let your talk go wherever it goes. Sometimes conversations can evolve from one topic to something completely different. With an open mind, these conversations can go virtually anywhere.

In my opinion trust is the foundation of every relationship. Personally, I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to, which has backfired at times. Everyone is a "STRANGER" at the very first moment for you except our family. Therefore I find no harm in trusting strangers these days but that doesn't means you may trust every next person, be quite selective too! If something doesn’t seem right or a person doesn’t want to talk to you, don’t push it. Don’t be afraid to stop a conversation if it is starting to make you uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to withhold information about yourself. Also, avoid talking about controversial or inflammatory subjects — you never know what topics people will react unfavorably toward. Almost every interaction people have is built on trust. 

Through my interactions, I have found that the rewards from these friendships have been invaluable to my travel experiences. I have met people from all walks of life with all kinds of passions. Listening to these quirky, unique, and adventuresome stories while traveling has left me with lifelong friends, solid communication skills, and an uplifting and astounding dose of inspiration.

The greatest aspect of talking to strangers is this: it gives you the power to make someone smile from ear to ear, each and every day. You are able to give out that small compliment, the piece of encouragement or buy someone a coffee – that could turn a strangers day around completely. And, if you’re lucky – maybe someone will do the same for you one day.

Humans are incredible creatures, and I’ve found that everyone has a unique story to tell. Staying open to encounters with strangers throughout my journey has expanded my mind immensely, taught me life lessons I could have only learned from experience, and helped me evolve overall as a human being. You never know who you can meet in this wonderful train of life — some people may only stay for a few stops, and others can be in it for the long ride. But all, I believe, will serve a purpose in your personal growth.

I am never alone on the road. There are people everywhere who will be constantly talking to me and inviting me out. Traveling alone doesn’t mean I will be alone. Traveling alone will turn you into one seriously fearless human, something that will most certainly help you as you go through life. 

The more I traveled, and the more interesting people I met from all over the world, the more tolerant I became. The more of the world I see, the more I realize that it’s not as black and white as I previously thought.

Religion and language and hand gestures and etiquette can all be confusing and frustrating, but learning from others makes us better people and will teach us to love and cherish and welcome everyone we meet, regardless of however different they may be from ourselves.

Through my experiences, I learned that people are usually friendly and happy to talk to me.

I’ve been able to meet more people than I ever expected just by opening up to them. That’s when I learned that it was up to me to be proactive and create my own doors instead of complaining that none were opening for me. It was up me to create my own opportunity by connecting with people. Besides feeling more connected, I feel happier knowing that I have the power to talk to whomever I want to. 

Thanks to all strangers during my trip so far. Thanks for helping, talking and giving inspiration to me. 

This article is dedicated for you guys❤

From This Moment On - Make It Meaningful!

The Buddha kept telling us that "It is precious to be born as human". However, many Buddhists sometimes misunderstand the teaching of the Buddha. They only brood over the suffering of human beings, and do not appreciate that it is precious to be born as a human being! The Buddha used this illustration for that teaching. A blind turtle lives in the bottom of the ocean and every 100 years he comes up for air. If that turtle was to rise for air and by chance put his head through a bucket that was floating on the surface it would be extremely rare. Attaining a precious human rebirth is even rarer than that.

Precious human existence is so, so amazingly rare. It’s so hard to get it. It’s such a rare thing that unless we fully utilise this life then there won’t be the next life where we can really do what we want to do.

A precious human existence is very, very hard to get in a future life. In one way we don’t know about the future life or our past lives. But actually, if we want to know about our past lives and about the future, we can learn a lot from just knowing ourselves as we are now. The fact that we’ve got the human existence we’ve got, we’ve met the great teaching and great teacher in this life, we lives in a right and safe place, have right livelihood are certainly the results of the wonderful work we have done in our past life and past lives. We should appreciate that.

I like this quote : “Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it, I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” H.H. the XIV Dalai Lama

I know people who are constantly overwhelmed with life, and they never cease to tell me. Are you one of those people? Do you complain about your job, your boss, your salary, your neighbors or your spouse? If you do, then you are doing nothing but exuding negative energy. Negativity doesn’t change things. It keeps you stuck. So change your thoughts and talk about what you appreciate about your life, not what you don’t like. Video games. Reality TV. Surfing the ‘net. Eat too much food. Drinking too much. And the list goes on. Take a serious look at your life. Where are you spending the majority of your time? And does it serve you well? Is it leading to a better life? Is it laying the foundation for a bright future? If not, then you need to reevaluate your routine activities and make changes.  It’s easy to get stuck hanging out with people who are not making you feel like a better person. But if you keep doing that, then you will stay stagnant or get pulled down with them. I like to call them “Energy Vampires.” They suck the life out of you and give you nothing positive in return. Instead, go find growth-oriented people to be around. There is a difference between a “need” and a “want.” I’m sure we all learned that in kindergarten. In fact, I know people who can’t pay their mortgage, but still have the fanciest gadgets on the planet. If you stop to think about it, there is very little that we actually need.

Instead of looking for a guarantee that tomorrow will be valuable, know that today is valuable—that you’re not wasting time because you don’t yet feel a sense of purpose. You’re using time well by starting (or continuing) the process of discovering it. You are the only thinker in your mind. This is the most wonderful discovery anyone can ever make. It is the key to freedom—the high road. Because this means that you are the choice-maker. You are the one who decides.

Every day, every minute, every second, and every life is precious, no matter what. Human life is unique, as you know, but all life, even the most basic forms, will fulfil goals.  The goal of human life is to be happy. Every person who walks this planet wishes to be happy, free from suffering and every person has potential to achieve that. Your ability to choose what you focus your attention on is what makes you a free individual. If you could not think for yourself and choose your focus, you would not be free. But you can, because no one else can get into your mind and think for you. Please think deeply about it—and you will see how truly amazing this is. This is what makes human life so precious, because we have the ability to be aware and choose our focus—and thus grow and evolve spiritually.

Today, right now, at this very moment, there are people enduring a tremendous amount of strife. Not just afar in places like Syria or North Korea, but in our very own backyards. When you stop to think about it for a moment, there is an enormous amount of pain and suffering happening everywhere. The sheer enormity of it all can certainly feel overwhelming. Many people go their whole human life never realizing that happiness lies right in their own mind. They pursue money and fame and nice cars and when they grow old they realize they still aren’t happy. How sad.  The never ending quest to be financially secure will crush your chances of making something useful of your life. Imagine the horror of growing old and looking back and realizing you spent the better part of your life worrying about something that really was pointless. I think it would be quite difficult to bare. Of course, you have to go to work, you have to pay the bills, you have to feed yourself. It is not the work I am talking about here. What I am referring to is the WORRY. The constant consuming mental habit of worrying about the future. It is pointless.

What really makes it precious is that we have the opportunity for practice, to actually put it into practice, to make it work. That’s a possibility because we have all the faculties we need for that. Sometimes someone can have an ear but it can’t hear, sometimes people have eyes but they can’t see. Sometimes you can have a brain but there is something wrong with it and it can’t really think and so on. For us it’s not like that. We have our faculties and we can take the teachings on board and we have this opportunity of actually putting them very effectively into practice. That’s the most precious aspect of the precious human existence.

As a human, you can pause and reflect on what your situation is and then use your intelligence to choose a path of action. Born as a human being and living in a peaceful environment – relatively peaceful environment – not in a war zone. And this is something precious for practicing and realizing the teaching (Truth/Dharma). So being free of being in a war zone – this is the line of reasoning, this is the logic: being free of being in a war zone and terrified out of our wits in a bomb shelter or in some sort of refugee camp, where everybody is stealing from each other and it is filthy – being free of that is precious for being able to practice, study, and learn. Why is it precious? Because I am free of this difficulty.

So then we have to look at what we’re doing now in this life. What do we need to do in order to get the next life as a precious human existence? That’s very clearly known. What we need is to live in a very pure and ethical way, right conduct. What we need to do is develop compassion, practice also develop the generosity, moral discipline, patience, diligence, concentration and wisdom and so on. Those are all of the causes that bring about rebirth as a human being.

So it is our path as Buddhists to embrace every moment (especially those of great suffering) as an invitation to recognize the preciousness of each human life, knowing that no matter how much pain a being may cause or experience, they are—due to their precious human birth—ultimately fully capable of awakening and ending their own suffering.

“My religion is to live and die without regret.” – Milarepa. I love this quote! Regret scares me. And the only way to live and die without regret is to find a way to make your life truly meaningful. When your every action, thought and word has meaning you will find that your death (and indeed your life) will be a very peaceful process. You are probably like me. You want to live and die without regret. So how do we do that? How do we make every minute of our existence count?

The most important thing you can ever do is make your life about other people. Our world is so self-centered. We are brought up to believe that we are more important than everyone else and that we need to take care of our own needs and wants before the needs and wants of others. One of my favorite quote from Master Shantideva is “All the suffering in the world comes from wanting happiness for oneself. All the happiness in the world comes from wanting happiness for others.” A life spent helping others is a life well spent. And when your time comes to an end there will be no regrets because you have used your time well. You have made a contribution.

The Buddha once remarked that a single moment of anger can destroy 100 years of good deeds. I can see how this can be so. Lots of bad things happen because of anger – violence, rape, wars, etc. And the bad thing about anger is that you always end up regretting it. Anger is the worst thing you can do. Don’t become one of those people who finds the worst in every situation. Look for the best.

Be aware of yourself and your actions. Remain mindful of what you do at all times, and make sure you are living life according to your principles, your life’s purpose, and what you are passionate about. Review your actions each day, taking stock of those that strayed from your path.

So I’ve contemplated how rare and precious this life is and I do feel some sense of loss when I waste it. I am very happy to be able to hold precepts, they help me to feel courage and faith in the practice. I also realize how fortunate I am to have such kind teachers, good environtment, right livelihood and life in a safe country. Life is so short and fleeting. You could die in your sleep tonight. Make sure you live your life in a way that will allow you to pass away with no regrets. Make compassion, love, patience and energy the main pillars of your existence. I wish to practice well and become a kinder, wiser human being, I wish you the same thing! From this moment on - Make it meaningful!

2 Days with Venerable Neyphug Trulku Rinpoche

It was an great honor for me be able to become an interpreter for Neyphug Trulku Rinpoche. SIDDHI MEDAN asked me to become an interpreter for Neyphug Trulku Rinpoche for 2 days in their Dharma Teaching event. I am so happy because I was able contribute to this auspicious occasion. Really, no joke! I knew that I don’t have a high English proficiency, but I tried my best to do this work. I was very careful to translate all the words presented by Rinpoche. At least, I’m not be able to enlighten others, but also I don’t want to mislead others. That’s the most important part.

I want to share what I have heard yesterday and today from Rinpoche to all of you. I admired what he was talking, he threw pretty much jokes during his teaching. He also has a casual way of speaking, humorous and full of meaning. Actually, maybe I would be able to share more if I were an audience yesterday because I would take a lot of notes and it allows me to share more about what I heard. However, when I translated the teachings yesterday, I was not able to write a single word in my book because when I write, I would not be able to hear the next words he spoke. So I chose to listen and translate his speech directly without noting anything.

Please enjoy this note J

14/March/2017

At Bodhi Dharma Buddhist College, Neyphug Trulku Rinpoche talked about Wisdom and Freedom as a topic.He explained about his country (Bhutan), and why Bhutan awarded as “Happiest Country on Earth” on 2009. Bhutan has aimed for high gross national happiness. Rinpoche said, there were four main pillars at Bhutan. The intuitive guiding principle of Gross National Happiness (GNH) led to a practical conceptualization of the concept. The foundation is made of four pillars: Good Governance is a considered a pillar for happiness because it determines the conditions in which Bhutanese thrive. A thriving GNH economy must value social and economic contributions of households and families, free time and leisure given the roles of these factors in Happiness. Happiness is believed to be contributed to by the preserving the Bhutanese culture. Developing cultural resilience, which can be understood as the culture’s capacity to maintain and develop cultural identity, knowledge and practices, and able to overcome challenges and difficulties from other norms and ideals. Environmental Conservation is considered a key contribution to GNH because in addition to providing critical services such as water and energy, the environment is believed to contribute to aesthetic and other stimulus that can be directly healing to people who enjoy vivid colours and light, untainted breeze and silence in nature’s sound.

Rinpoche said, those all just lead and give us to temporary happiness. There’s two kind of different happiness in our life : Absolute happiness and Relative Happiness. Rinpoche said that money can make people feel happy, but it's only temporary happiness. As a Buddhist, Buddha taught us to not really rely on temporary happiness and should achieve absolute happiness. Rinpoche said that there are four important pillars to achieve absolute happiness.

Boundless love, boundless compassion, boundless joy and boundless equanimity are tools to achieve absolute happiness in our life. Boundless love, in contrast to clinging and attachment, is the wish for everyone everywhere to have happiness and its causes. It banishes hatred. Love sees everything without distortion, and eventually transforms into the third Buddha wisdom, mirror-like wisdom, which sees everything clearly, just the way it is.

Boundless compassion, which is distinct from being overwhelmed by emotion, is the wish that everyone everywhere be free of pain and its causes. It banishes desire. Compassion becomes wisdom when it recognizes the empty nature of those who are suffering.

Boundless joy, not to be mistaken for frenzied exultation, is delight in others’ happiness (rejoice). Joy is antidote to jealousy and stabilizes our capacity for engagement. As such, it is a portal to the only remaining Buddha wisdom, the all-accomplishing wisdom that transforms intention into action. Each boundless quality supports the balance of equanimity.

We need to develop these 4 important pillars without selecting and excluding, knowing well that to do so means to create love's own contrasts: dislike, aversion and hatred. You can radiate them to yourself, a benefactor, a friend, an enemy, one toward whom you feel neutral, and groups. Extend your love more broadly, first to a dear friend, thinking in the same way as above. When the mind is malleable, generate love for a neutral person, seeing her as a very dear friend. When you can do this, cultivate love for an enemy, seeing her as neutral. “Enemy” means someone you are hostile or critical toward. The person does not have to be one who reciprocates those disturbing emotions. This step can be difficult because anger or the wish for revenge may arise toward those who have harmed you. If you cannot get past these disturbing emotions, return to meditating on love toward one of the previous persons, and when the mind is drenched in that feeling, again generate love for the enemy. I begin by sitting quietly and remembering how much suffering there is in the world and how much I would like peace and happiness for all beings.  I remember that someday, sooner or later, I will die and all beings will die.  I want to use this precious human life as best I can.  I then vow to free myself from suffering and help others be free from suffering.

Rinpoche also talked about Samsara but not really detail. Rinpoche just explained the main things about Samsara. He showed all the audience about the Tibetan Thangka Painting and explained about 3 main layers. First layer talked about  twelve links of dependent origination, the second layer talked about 6 realms (Lower and Upper Realms) and the thirtd layer about three poisons (Hartred, Anger and Ignorance). Rinpoche also talked about precious human existence, but he mentioned about ‘Precious’, Rinpoche said, What’s the ‘precious human existence’ means? Its not because we are human then we are precious, but because humans can do something important and precious for ourselves and others. That’s  why born as a human being is precious. We can do what animals can’t do, right? So, Rinpoche remind us to not worry sick about money. We also associate money with happiness. The never ending quest to be financially secure will crush your chances of making something useful of your life. Imagine the horror of growing old and looking back and realizing you spent the better part of your life worrying about something that really was pointless. I think it would be quite difficult to bear. Of course, you have to go to work, you have to pay the bills, you have to feed yourself. It is not the work I am talking about here. What I am referring to is the WORRY. The constant consuming mental habit of worrying about the future. It is pointless. Rinpoche invited all the audience to contemplate  how rare and precious this life is and I do feel some sense of loss when I waste it. I am very happy to be able to hold precepts, they help me to feel courage and faith in the practice. I also realize how fortunate I am to have such kind teachers and I wish to practice well and become a kinder, wiser human being.

In the end, Rinpoche explained a bit about Karma. It’s called 100% Karma. 100% is divided into four parts, namely the subject, motivations, actions and results. For example, Our friend invited us to have dinner at good restaurant because in that restaurant, they have delicious fish. Then, we go there with intention/motivation to eat fish, and because we want to eat fish, people killed the fish for us and fish died then finally served on our table. So, here.. the fish is the subject (25%), the intention/motivation to eat fish is there as well (25%). And then the fish being killed (action – 25%), the last one.. the fish served on our table and we eat them (25%). So, our Karma is 100%.

How many people were involved in the act? Fishermen who catch fish,  fish seller, fish buyer, the chef, the waiter who served the fish to our table, all those people know that the fish will be killed, but none of them make a precaution or do something to help the fish. It’s awful.

So, in the end of the teaching, Rinpoche told us his humble wishes, may all of us be free from the fear of not getting what we want, free from the fear of losing what we have, may the precious compassion and wisdom grow in us, and may the love and kindness be our religion.

15/March/2017

At Nursing Home Taba Bodhi Asri. Rinpoche talked about his own experience and encouraged all of eldest there. So, Rinpoche told them that he felt like visiting his own parents and he was so happy to see them. Rinpoche said several years ago he had to undergo a kidney transplant and surgery. He also said at the time he was only 32 years old but he felt like 90 years old. His physique was young but weaker than older people. He asked Buddha, why? Rinpoche realized that keep the mind is more important than the physical body. He accepted all the condition and live with a calm and peaceful mind. Even after surgery, he didn’t need to take any pain killers. Even the healing process better and faster than the usual.

Rinpoche said, this story is to remind all of elders there. They don’t need be afraid of death. Because actually, we are born to die. Also don’t need to feel that we are old, powerless and useless. Because these things only damage our mind and inner quality. Instead of feeling sad, we should feel lucky because live this long and still have a healthy body. Maintaining the mind to remain happy and peace is important. Our bodies can become blind, deaf, disabled, and so on. but not with the mind. Rinpoche also said that we should forgive others who may have hurt us and we also ought to apologize to people who have been hurt by us. This is one of the things that make the mind become peaceful.

Furthermore, we also have to maintain a good relationship with the Buddha. if during his lifetime we never keep a good relationship with The Buddha, probably after death, although Buddha is in front of us, we probably would not recognize Him because during our lifetime we never build a good relationship with The Buddha. Always remember The Buddha’s kindness and always pray to Buddha. That’s important if we want to have a peaceful mind. The most important thing is do not always remember the mistakes of others, the weaknesses of others, but remember the good things we have done. Be kind and caring to others can help us to have a peaceful mind.

Rinpoche also reminded the younger people that don’t think that only older people die sooner than those who are younger. Because the fact is, a lot of young people who die in an horrible way, because of incurable illnesses and death doesn’t always happen to the elderly only. So, Don’t think if you are young, you can’t be dead first. We must prepare to die well. Don’t be afraid of death, we should do a lot useful  and good deeds in our lives to welcome death. Because only the good deeds that we did  that can we take when we die. We can’t take our houses, car, wealth, power and so on. We also not be able to help our family, nothing we can do.

So, Forgiveness and Acceptance is important. Forgive people, apologize to people, accept that die is a normal thing, and our mind will be more peaceful and calm.

I hope you enjoy this article and I hope I could do better than this in the future. 

Compassion as Our Fashion

We often hear Buddhists talk about wisdom and compassion. Buddhism is often called the religion of wisdom and compassion, and when we inquire further into this idea we find that the most important thing is opening our eyes of wisdom and thereby bringing ourselves and others to salvation. What do these two terms actually mean?

One of my favorite quote, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama

Compassion is a uniquely human quality. Compassion is made up of two words, 'co' meaning together and 'passion' meaning a strong feeling. And this is what compassion is. When we see someone in distress and we feel their pain as if it were our own, and strive to eliminate or lessen their pain, then this is compassion. So all the best in human beings, all the Buddha-like qualities like sharing, readiness to give comfort, sympathy, concern and caring - all are manifestations of compassion. You will notice also that in the compassionate person, care and love towards others has its origins in care and love for oneself. We can really understand others when we really understand ourselves. We will know what's best for others when we know what's best for ourselves. We can feel for others when we feel for ourselves. I believe compassion to be one of the few things we can practice that will bring immediate and long-term happiness to our lives.

The highest wisdom is seeing that in reality all phenomena are incomplete, impermanent, and not self. I used to think of "wisdom" as something that is primarily intellectual. The Buddha taught that to realize enlightenment, a person must develop two qualities: wisdom and compassion. These are considered the two most important aspects of practice. Just like a bird needs two wings to fly; a very compassionate person without wisdom will end up being a good-hearted fool, a very kind person but with little or no understanding.

Anger or hatred is the main obstacle that causes deterioration to compassion and the awakening mind. Shantideva's discussion provides the causes of anger as : personal suffering, being disrespected, and being spoken to harshly. One can destroy anger by knowing one's enemy and by realizing that he creates only sorrows. Perhaps surprisingly, the worst way to deal with anger is to suppress it. The remedy for anger is patience. By meditating on the causes of anger, one can feel compassion for one's enemy. Practise patience before getting angry and having patience in accepting problems is really important. It's already been noted that compassion arises from wisdom, just as wisdom arises from compassion.

Compassion for yourself, we are best able to help others after we have helped ourselves. Isn't that a bit selfish? Many people make the error of trying to love and be kind to others while at the same time not focusing on love and being kind to themselves. Many people are taught to put others ahead of themselves. Self-compassion can seem like the opposite of what you “should” be doing: taking care of others. But how will beating yourself up help you be kinder to others? The source of our compassion will only be more authentic when we are able to show compassion to ourselves first. Perhaps most importantly, having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness. Things will not always go the way you want them to. You will encounter frustrations, losses will occur, you will make mistakes, bump up against your limitations, fall short of your ideals. This is the human condition, a reality shared by all of us. The more you open your heart to this reality instead of constantly fighting against it, the more you will be able to feel compassion for yourself and all your fellow humans in the experience of life.

Compassion for others, compassion is the dynamic relationship between oneself and others. Even so, in modern times consideration for the "other" is weakening and it seems that we live in an age in which coexisting with other people is undervalued. The "other" not only indicates other people, but also refers to living beings other than human beings--and to the mountains, rivers, plants, and trees that make up the natural environment. We human beings are not living alone. We live surrounded by all the interconnections of many different people, animals, plants, our physical environment, and so on. In that sense, we can say that our lives are sustained through the help of others. First, to have compassion for others you must notice that they are suffering. If you ignore that homeless person on the street, you can’t feel compassion for how difficult his or her experience is. Second, compassion involves feeling moved by others’ suffering so that your heart responds to their pain. When this occurs, you feel warmth, caring, and the desire to help the suffering person in some way. Having compassion also means that you offer understanding and kindness to others when they fail or make mistakes, rather than judging them harshly. Finally, when you feel compassion for another, it means that you realize that suffering, failure, and imperfection is part of the shared human experience.

Compassion for animals, 50 million animals were killed every year for their skins. Fox, rabbit, dog, cat, raccoon, squirrels, and other animals are the most abundant animals being killed for fur. How do I show and practice compassion for them? Eat less meat, do not use animal products, do not hurt the animals for the sake of your pleasure, and help the animal welfare. Every animal has the right to be free from hunger and thirst, free from from pain, injury and disease, free from discomfort, maltreatment and abuse, free from fear and distress and freely express their natural behavior. We should cherish their lives, we have no right to hurt them just for the sake of our pleasure. We are all the same, feeling suffering, and we all want to find happiness and avoid suffering. If you have pet,  remember that your pets didn’t ask to be with you. You choose them, so be responsible and kind to take the best care of them for the rest of their lives. Their lives are equally important and as precious as our lives.

And now maybe other questions popped-up in your mind, why do we have to practice compassion? What are the benefits?

The main benefit is that it helps us to be more happy, and brings others around us to be more happy. If we agree that it is a common aim of each of us to strive to be happy, then compassion is one of the main tools for achieving that happiness. Compassionate people’s minds wander less about what has gone wrong in their lives, or might go wrong in the future, as a result, they’re happier. Compassionate people are more optimistic and supportive when communicating with others. Compassion will make this world a better place to live. Compassion is contagious and spreads outwards, inspiring further acts of compassion and kindness when witnessed and experienced.

I highly recommend that you take a few minutes before you go to bed to reflect upon your day. Think about the people you met and talked to, and how you treated each other. Think about your goal that you stated this morning, to act with compassion towards others. How well did you do? What could you do better? What did you learn from your experiences today? It’s a good idea to make compassion as a daily practice. Compassionate practices can be done anywhere, any time. At work, at home, at school, on the road, while traveling, while at a store, while at the home of a friend or family member, and even to your pets or plants. This, above all, with bring happiness to your life and to those around you.

Let’s make compassion as our fashion and life style!