Strangers Became Friends

‘Remember, Don’t Talk To Strangers’.

My mother would always tell me before I went out to play. For many of us, it was a golden rule of childhood, right?

We are all raised not to talk to strangers. But, when you travel solo, the ability to talk to strangers safely is a skill that makes for some of the most interesting travel moments. Meet people on the road—it’s part of the fun of traveling for me.

Let me share with you all the incredible things that have happened to me while traveling alone. Things that definitely would never have happened if I had a travel buddy or group of friends by my side. That’s the thing about solo travel. While it’s daunting and scary and sometimes dangerous, it’s also one of the most exciting and rewarding experiences you will ever have. You open yourself up to the world, and suddenly the world and so many of its amazing people, open themselves up to you.

Since my very first solo trip in 2015, I have made it a point to talk to anyone and everyone who is willing. It’s brought me friends from all over – from Europe, America, Australia to Asia – and given me lifelong memories and countless stories to tell. Usually, the highlights of my trips are the people I met while there. Humanity is a beautiful thing. 

The amount of times I have encountered the most generous and helpful strangers while traveling solo is unbelievable. In fact, from the minute I leave home on a solo trip, good things seem to happen all thanks to the kindness of strangers.

For example, when I was traveling to East Java in 2015, it was the month of fasting for Muslims. I was having trouble finding food and my host family was fasting but they cooked for my lunch. I even was the one they had just met, but they treated me like family. 

Then when I was backpacking to Siem Reap in 2015, I was donating my blood at Blood bank there. Lots of local people who are trying to communicate to me even though they could not speak English. They tried to help me look for blood transfusion room, and waited for me until I finished to donate my blood and took me to eat after wards.

The same thing also happened in Thailand in 2015, after Siem Reap, I went to Thailand for 3 weeks. I met so many nice people there. I slept in the dorm and met many people. I'm often involved in long conversations with them. Not just for one or two hours, sometimes I spend up to 1-2 days with them, but I forgot to ask their names. 

When I was traveling in Sulawesi and Flores more than a month in June 2016, I met so many kind people around me. They helped me and my friends to find Bus when we missed it. They helped us to negotiate things. Helped us to find places we wanted to go and many more. 

I met bunch of helpful and kind people during my Myanmar trip in November 2016. People there incredibly friendly and nice. Smile everywhere and I got so many gifts from people there. They just gave it to me and wish me a tons of luck before I left. 

I tried to hitchhike / get a free ride in few places and it was awesome! I have encountered the most generous souls who offered me so much when they found out I was alone. I have made some amazing friendships from chatting with strangers in buses, trains, and hostels, as well as from getting to know the people who host me. 

Especially if I'm traveling alone in Indonesia. Lot of people asked me why and they feel sorry for me. They said that I was brave and strong woman. Even some of them said that never saw the woman traveling alone before. Moreover, I am happy to go somewhere off the beaten track that are difficult to reach and away from the crowds. 

I have a rule where I smile at people who I make eye contact with. I smile to myself as I listen to music and as I read books. Basically, I’m always smiling. And it works — when I smile at someone, they almost always smile back or at least acknowledge me. Think about it: you’ll be more likely to strike up a conversation with someone who looks cheerful rather than someone who looks angry or upset. Stick a smile on your face and others will do the same. 

I’ve come to learn from travelling and speaking to all kinds of people that everyone has their own perspective, and my role is to listen and respect their view — even when I don’t agree. This has allowed me to have insightful conversations where I was better able to understand sides of a story that were previously obscured. It has made me more patient, tolerant, and open-minded, which has actually helped me meet even more amazing strangers!

"As you grow older, you'll find that you enjoy talking to strangers far more than to your friends."

When traveling, more often than not, other people want to talk to you. Sometimes it just takes a little leap of faith. And sometimes, you have to initiate that leap of faith. Often times, the best souvenirs while traveling are the friends you make. It’s as simple as that. Material souvenirs are nice, but when you have a meaningful and mentally stimulating conversation with someone, you’ll remember them forever. Learning how to introduce yourself is a magical skill, and one that isn’t too hard to learn. Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet a lifelong friend just by taking the first step. 

I'm not afraid of chaos and I'm happy talking to strangers. I really love to not knowing where I'm going. 

When it comes to travel planning, I fly by the seat of my pants most of the time. Meaning, I actually don’t do much planning at all. Funny enough, I mostly rely on stranger’s recommendations to do my planning: every time I meet people, I ask them where they’ve been and what they’ve liked. My itinerary ends up being pieced from the recommendations of many people, which are predominantly locals and fellow adventurous travellers. 

Don’t limit yourself to only speaking to a certain group of people or about certain topics. Don’t limit your conversation to only a few minutes. Let your talk go wherever it goes. Sometimes conversations can evolve from one topic to something completely different. With an open mind, these conversations can go virtually anywhere.

In my opinion trust is the foundation of every relationship. Personally, I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to, which has backfired at times. Everyone is a "STRANGER" at the very first moment for you except our family. Therefore I find no harm in trusting strangers these days but that doesn't means you may trust every next person, be quite selective too! If something doesn’t seem right or a person doesn’t want to talk to you, don’t push it. Don’t be afraid to stop a conversation if it is starting to make you uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to withhold information about yourself. Also, avoid talking about controversial or inflammatory subjects — you never know what topics people will react unfavorably toward. Almost every interaction people have is built on trust. 

Through my interactions, I have found that the rewards from these friendships have been invaluable to my travel experiences. I have met people from all walks of life with all kinds of passions. Listening to these quirky, unique, and adventuresome stories while traveling has left me with lifelong friends, solid communication skills, and an uplifting and astounding dose of inspiration.

The greatest aspect of talking to strangers is this: it gives you the power to make someone smile from ear to ear, each and every day. You are able to give out that small compliment, the piece of encouragement or buy someone a coffee – that could turn a strangers day around completely. And, if you’re lucky – maybe someone will do the same for you one day.

Humans are incredible creatures, and I’ve found that everyone has a unique story to tell. Staying open to encounters with strangers throughout my journey has expanded my mind immensely, taught me life lessons I could have only learned from experience, and helped me evolve overall as a human being. You never know who you can meet in this wonderful train of life — some people may only stay for a few stops, and others can be in it for the long ride. But all, I believe, will serve a purpose in your personal growth.

I am never alone on the road. There are people everywhere who will be constantly talking to me and inviting me out. Traveling alone doesn’t mean I will be alone. Traveling alone will turn you into one seriously fearless human, something that will most certainly help you as you go through life. 

The more I traveled, and the more interesting people I met from all over the world, the more tolerant I became. The more of the world I see, the more I realize that it’s not as black and white as I previously thought.

Religion and language and hand gestures and etiquette can all be confusing and frustrating, but learning from others makes us better people and will teach us to love and cherish and welcome everyone we meet, regardless of however different they may be from ourselves.

Through my experiences, I learned that people are usually friendly and happy to talk to me.

I’ve been able to meet more people than I ever expected just by opening up to them. That’s when I learned that it was up to me to be proactive and create my own doors instead of complaining that none were opening for me. It was up me to create my own opportunity by connecting with people. Besides feeling more connected, I feel happier knowing that I have the power to talk to whomever I want to. 

Thanks to all strangers during my trip so far. Thanks for helping, talking and giving inspiration to me. 

This article is dedicated for you guys❤

From This Moment On - Make It Meaningful!

The Buddha kept telling us that "It is precious to be born as human". However, many Buddhists sometimes misunderstand the teaching of the Buddha. They only brood over the suffering of human beings, and do not appreciate that it is precious to be born as a human being! The Buddha used this illustration for that teaching. A blind turtle lives in the bottom of the ocean and every 100 years he comes up for air. If that turtle was to rise for air and by chance put his head through a bucket that was floating on the surface it would be extremely rare. Attaining a precious human rebirth is even rarer than that.

Precious human existence is so, so amazingly rare. It’s so hard to get it. It’s such a rare thing that unless we fully utilise this life then there won’t be the next life where we can really do what we want to do.

A precious human existence is very, very hard to get in a future life. In one way we don’t know about the future life or our past lives. But actually, if we want to know about our past lives and about the future, we can learn a lot from just knowing ourselves as we are now. The fact that we’ve got the human existence we’ve got, we’ve met the great teaching and great teacher in this life, we lives in a right and safe place, have right livelihood are certainly the results of the wonderful work we have done in our past life and past lives. We should appreciate that.

I like this quote : “Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it, I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” H.H. the XIV Dalai Lama

I know people who are constantly overwhelmed with life, and they never cease to tell me. Are you one of those people? Do you complain about your job, your boss, your salary, your neighbors or your spouse? If you do, then you are doing nothing but exuding negative energy. Negativity doesn’t change things. It keeps you stuck. So change your thoughts and talk about what you appreciate about your life, not what you don’t like. Video games. Reality TV. Surfing the ‘net. Eat too much food. Drinking too much. And the list goes on. Take a serious look at your life. Where are you spending the majority of your time? And does it serve you well? Is it leading to a better life? Is it laying the foundation for a bright future? If not, then you need to reevaluate your routine activities and make changes.  It’s easy to get stuck hanging out with people who are not making you feel like a better person. But if you keep doing that, then you will stay stagnant or get pulled down with them. I like to call them “Energy Vampires.” They suck the life out of you and give you nothing positive in return. Instead, go find growth-oriented people to be around. There is a difference between a “need” and a “want.” I’m sure we all learned that in kindergarten. In fact, I know people who can’t pay their mortgage, but still have the fanciest gadgets on the planet. If you stop to think about it, there is very little that we actually need.

Instead of looking for a guarantee that tomorrow will be valuable, know that today is valuable—that you’re not wasting time because you don’t yet feel a sense of purpose. You’re using time well by starting (or continuing) the process of discovering it. You are the only thinker in your mind. This is the most wonderful discovery anyone can ever make. It is the key to freedom—the high road. Because this means that you are the choice-maker. You are the one who decides.

Every day, every minute, every second, and every life is precious, no matter what. Human life is unique, as you know, but all life, even the most basic forms, will fulfil goals.  The goal of human life is to be happy. Every person who walks this planet wishes to be happy, free from suffering and every person has potential to achieve that. Your ability to choose what you focus your attention on is what makes you a free individual. If you could not think for yourself and choose your focus, you would not be free. But you can, because no one else can get into your mind and think for you. Please think deeply about it—and you will see how truly amazing this is. This is what makes human life so precious, because we have the ability to be aware and choose our focus—and thus grow and evolve spiritually.

Today, right now, at this very moment, there are people enduring a tremendous amount of strife. Not just afar in places like Syria or North Korea, but in our very own backyards. When you stop to think about it for a moment, there is an enormous amount of pain and suffering happening everywhere. The sheer enormity of it all can certainly feel overwhelming. Many people go their whole human life never realizing that happiness lies right in their own mind. They pursue money and fame and nice cars and when they grow old they realize they still aren’t happy. How sad.  The never ending quest to be financially secure will crush your chances of making something useful of your life. Imagine the horror of growing old and looking back and realizing you spent the better part of your life worrying about something that really was pointless. I think it would be quite difficult to bare. Of course, you have to go to work, you have to pay the bills, you have to feed yourself. It is not the work I am talking about here. What I am referring to is the WORRY. The constant consuming mental habit of worrying about the future. It is pointless.

What really makes it precious is that we have the opportunity for practice, to actually put it into practice, to make it work. That’s a possibility because we have all the faculties we need for that. Sometimes someone can have an ear but it can’t hear, sometimes people have eyes but they can’t see. Sometimes you can have a brain but there is something wrong with it and it can’t really think and so on. For us it’s not like that. We have our faculties and we can take the teachings on board and we have this opportunity of actually putting them very effectively into practice. That’s the most precious aspect of the precious human existence.

As a human, you can pause and reflect on what your situation is and then use your intelligence to choose a path of action. Born as a human being and living in a peaceful environment – relatively peaceful environment – not in a war zone. And this is something precious for practicing and realizing the teaching (Truth/Dharma). So being free of being in a war zone – this is the line of reasoning, this is the logic: being free of being in a war zone and terrified out of our wits in a bomb shelter or in some sort of refugee camp, where everybody is stealing from each other and it is filthy – being free of that is precious for being able to practice, study, and learn. Why is it precious? Because I am free of this difficulty.

So then we have to look at what we’re doing now in this life. What do we need to do in order to get the next life as a precious human existence? That’s very clearly known. What we need is to live in a very pure and ethical way, right conduct. What we need to do is develop compassion, practice also develop the generosity, moral discipline, patience, diligence, concentration and wisdom and so on. Those are all of the causes that bring about rebirth as a human being.

So it is our path as Buddhists to embrace every moment (especially those of great suffering) as an invitation to recognize the preciousness of each human life, knowing that no matter how much pain a being may cause or experience, they are—due to their precious human birth—ultimately fully capable of awakening and ending their own suffering.

“My religion is to live and die without regret.” – Milarepa. I love this quote! Regret scares me. And the only way to live and die without regret is to find a way to make your life truly meaningful. When your every action, thought and word has meaning you will find that your death (and indeed your life) will be a very peaceful process. You are probably like me. You want to live and die without regret. So how do we do that? How do we make every minute of our existence count?

The most important thing you can ever do is make your life about other people. Our world is so self-centered. We are brought up to believe that we are more important than everyone else and that we need to take care of our own needs and wants before the needs and wants of others. One of my favorite quote from Master Shantideva is “All the suffering in the world comes from wanting happiness for oneself. All the happiness in the world comes from wanting happiness for others.” A life spent helping others is a life well spent. And when your time comes to an end there will be no regrets because you have used your time well. You have made a contribution.

The Buddha once remarked that a single moment of anger can destroy 100 years of good deeds. I can see how this can be so. Lots of bad things happen because of anger – violence, rape, wars, etc. And the bad thing about anger is that you always end up regretting it. Anger is the worst thing you can do. Don’t become one of those people who finds the worst in every situation. Look for the best.

Be aware of yourself and your actions. Remain mindful of what you do at all times, and make sure you are living life according to your principles, your life’s purpose, and what you are passionate about. Review your actions each day, taking stock of those that strayed from your path.

So I’ve contemplated how rare and precious this life is and I do feel some sense of loss when I waste it. I am very happy to be able to hold precepts, they help me to feel courage and faith in the practice. I also realize how fortunate I am to have such kind teachers, good environtment, right livelihood and life in a safe country. Life is so short and fleeting. You could die in your sleep tonight. Make sure you live your life in a way that will allow you to pass away with no regrets. Make compassion, love, patience and energy the main pillars of your existence. I wish to practice well and become a kinder, wiser human being, I wish you the same thing! From this moment on - Make it meaningful!

2 Days with Venerable Neyphug Trulku Rinpoche

It was an great honor for me be able to become an interpreter for Neyphug Trulku Rinpoche. SIDDHI MEDAN asked me to become an interpreter for Neyphug Trulku Rinpoche for 2 days in their Dharma Teaching event. I am so happy because I was able contribute to this auspicious occasion. Really, no joke! I knew that I don’t have a high English proficiency, but I tried my best to do this work. I was very careful to translate all the words presented by Rinpoche. At least, I’m not be able to enlighten others, but also I don’t want to mislead others. That’s the most important part.

I want to share what I have heard yesterday and today from Rinpoche to all of you. I admired what he was talking, he threw pretty much jokes during his teaching. He also has a casual way of speaking, humorous and full of meaning. Actually, maybe I would be able to share more if I were an audience yesterday because I would take a lot of notes and it allows me to share more about what I heard. However, when I translated the teachings yesterday, I was not able to write a single word in my book because when I write, I would not be able to hear the next words he spoke. So I chose to listen and translate his speech directly without noting anything.

Please enjoy this note J

14/March/2017

At Bodhi Dharma Buddhist College, Neyphug Trulku Rinpoche talked about Wisdom and Freedom as a topic.He explained about his country (Bhutan), and why Bhutan awarded as “Happiest Country on Earth” on 2009. Bhutan has aimed for high gross national happiness. Rinpoche said, there were four main pillars at Bhutan. The intuitive guiding principle of Gross National Happiness (GNH) led to a practical conceptualization of the concept. The foundation is made of four pillars: Good Governance is a considered a pillar for happiness because it determines the conditions in which Bhutanese thrive. A thriving GNH economy must value social and economic contributions of households and families, free time and leisure given the roles of these factors in Happiness. Happiness is believed to be contributed to by the preserving the Bhutanese culture. Developing cultural resilience, which can be understood as the culture’s capacity to maintain and develop cultural identity, knowledge and practices, and able to overcome challenges and difficulties from other norms and ideals. Environmental Conservation is considered a key contribution to GNH because in addition to providing critical services such as water and energy, the environment is believed to contribute to aesthetic and other stimulus that can be directly healing to people who enjoy vivid colours and light, untainted breeze and silence in nature’s sound.

Rinpoche said, those all just lead and give us to temporary happiness. There’s two kind of different happiness in our life : Absolute happiness and Relative Happiness. Rinpoche said that money can make people feel happy, but it's only temporary happiness. As a Buddhist, Buddha taught us to not really rely on temporary happiness and should achieve absolute happiness. Rinpoche said that there are four important pillars to achieve absolute happiness.

Boundless love, boundless compassion, boundless joy and boundless equanimity are tools to achieve absolute happiness in our life. Boundless love, in contrast to clinging and attachment, is the wish for everyone everywhere to have happiness and its causes. It banishes hatred. Love sees everything without distortion, and eventually transforms into the third Buddha wisdom, mirror-like wisdom, which sees everything clearly, just the way it is.

Boundless compassion, which is distinct from being overwhelmed by emotion, is the wish that everyone everywhere be free of pain and its causes. It banishes desire. Compassion becomes wisdom when it recognizes the empty nature of those who are suffering.

Boundless joy, not to be mistaken for frenzied exultation, is delight in others’ happiness (rejoice). Joy is antidote to jealousy and stabilizes our capacity for engagement. As such, it is a portal to the only remaining Buddha wisdom, the all-accomplishing wisdom that transforms intention into action. Each boundless quality supports the balance of equanimity.

We need to develop these 4 important pillars without selecting and excluding, knowing well that to do so means to create love's own contrasts: dislike, aversion and hatred. You can radiate them to yourself, a benefactor, a friend, an enemy, one toward whom you feel neutral, and groups. Extend your love more broadly, first to a dear friend, thinking in the same way as above. When the mind is malleable, generate love for a neutral person, seeing her as a very dear friend. When you can do this, cultivate love for an enemy, seeing her as neutral. “Enemy” means someone you are hostile or critical toward. The person does not have to be one who reciprocates those disturbing emotions. This step can be difficult because anger or the wish for revenge may arise toward those who have harmed you. If you cannot get past these disturbing emotions, return to meditating on love toward one of the previous persons, and when the mind is drenched in that feeling, again generate love for the enemy. I begin by sitting quietly and remembering how much suffering there is in the world and how much I would like peace and happiness for all beings.  I remember that someday, sooner or later, I will die and all beings will die.  I want to use this precious human life as best I can.  I then vow to free myself from suffering and help others be free from suffering.

Rinpoche also talked about Samsara but not really detail. Rinpoche just explained the main things about Samsara. He showed all the audience about the Tibetan Thangka Painting and explained about 3 main layers. First layer talked about  twelve links of dependent origination, the second layer talked about 6 realms (Lower and Upper Realms) and the thirtd layer about three poisons (Hartred, Anger and Ignorance). Rinpoche also talked about precious human existence, but he mentioned about ‘Precious’, Rinpoche said, What’s the ‘precious human existence’ means? Its not because we are human then we are precious, but because humans can do something important and precious for ourselves and others. That’s  why born as a human being is precious. We can do what animals can’t do, right? So, Rinpoche remind us to not worry sick about money. We also associate money with happiness. The never ending quest to be financially secure will crush your chances of making something useful of your life. Imagine the horror of growing old and looking back and realizing you spent the better part of your life worrying about something that really was pointless. I think it would be quite difficult to bear. Of course, you have to go to work, you have to pay the bills, you have to feed yourself. It is not the work I am talking about here. What I am referring to is the WORRY. The constant consuming mental habit of worrying about the future. It is pointless. Rinpoche invited all the audience to contemplate  how rare and precious this life is and I do feel some sense of loss when I waste it. I am very happy to be able to hold precepts, they help me to feel courage and faith in the practice. I also realize how fortunate I am to have such kind teachers and I wish to practice well and become a kinder, wiser human being.

In the end, Rinpoche explained a bit about Karma. It’s called 100% Karma. 100% is divided into four parts, namely the subject, motivations, actions and results. For example, Our friend invited us to have dinner at good restaurant because in that restaurant, they have delicious fish. Then, we go there with intention/motivation to eat fish, and because we want to eat fish, people killed the fish for us and fish died then finally served on our table. So, here.. the fish is the subject (25%), the intention/motivation to eat fish is there as well (25%). And then the fish being killed (action – 25%), the last one.. the fish served on our table and we eat them (25%). So, our Karma is 100%.

How many people were involved in the act? Fishermen who catch fish,  fish seller, fish buyer, the chef, the waiter who served the fish to our table, all those people know that the fish will be killed, but none of them make a precaution or do something to help the fish. It’s awful.

So, in the end of the teaching, Rinpoche told us his humble wishes, may all of us be free from the fear of not getting what we want, free from the fear of losing what we have, may the precious compassion and wisdom grow in us, and may the love and kindness be our religion.

15/March/2017

At Nursing Home Taba Bodhi Asri. Rinpoche talked about his own experience and encouraged all of eldest there. So, Rinpoche told them that he felt like visiting his own parents and he was so happy to see them. Rinpoche said several years ago he had to undergo a kidney transplant and surgery. He also said at the time he was only 32 years old but he felt like 90 years old. His physique was young but weaker than older people. He asked Buddha, why? Rinpoche realized that keep the mind is more important than the physical body. He accepted all the condition and live with a calm and peaceful mind. Even after surgery, he didn’t need to take any pain killers. Even the healing process better and faster than the usual.

Rinpoche said, this story is to remind all of elders there. They don’t need be afraid of death. Because actually, we are born to die. Also don’t need to feel that we are old, powerless and useless. Because these things only damage our mind and inner quality. Instead of feeling sad, we should feel lucky because live this long and still have a healthy body. Maintaining the mind to remain happy and peace is important. Our bodies can become blind, deaf, disabled, and so on. but not with the mind. Rinpoche also said that we should forgive others who may have hurt us and we also ought to apologize to people who have been hurt by us. This is one of the things that make the mind become peaceful.

Furthermore, we also have to maintain a good relationship with the Buddha. if during his lifetime we never keep a good relationship with The Buddha, probably after death, although Buddha is in front of us, we probably would not recognize Him because during our lifetime we never build a good relationship with The Buddha. Always remember The Buddha’s kindness and always pray to Buddha. That’s important if we want to have a peaceful mind. The most important thing is do not always remember the mistakes of others, the weaknesses of others, but remember the good things we have done. Be kind and caring to others can help us to have a peaceful mind.

Rinpoche also reminded the younger people that don’t think that only older people die sooner than those who are younger. Because the fact is, a lot of young people who die in an horrible way, because of incurable illnesses and death doesn’t always happen to the elderly only. So, Don’t think if you are young, you can’t be dead first. We must prepare to die well. Don’t be afraid of death, we should do a lot useful  and good deeds in our lives to welcome death. Because only the good deeds that we did  that can we take when we die. We can’t take our houses, car, wealth, power and so on. We also not be able to help our family, nothing we can do.

So, Forgiveness and Acceptance is important. Forgive people, apologize to people, accept that die is a normal thing, and our mind will be more peaceful and calm.

I hope you enjoy this article and I hope I could do better than this in the future.